The Mom I Needed
To married moms, single moms, new moms, seasoned moms, moms of one, moms of many, moms-to-be, and moms in the midst of it all – God gave your children the mom they needed. And guess what?
For mom on Mother’s Day,
I didn’t need a mom who knew the words to all the songs on the Top 40s charts.
I didn’t need a mom who could sew me clothes or build a dollhouse.
I didn’t need a mom who had the house immaculate at all hours of the day.
God gave me the mom I needed.
I’m not a mother, but I am a daughter.
I was a child, a pre-teen, a teenager, and now, an adult.
You may not have known it then, mom – and frankly, maybe I didn’t either. But for Mother’s Day – from the child, the pre-teen, the teenager, and the adult “me” – you’re who I needed, mom.
When I was little, maybe you thought I cared most about the birthday parties you could throw or the jokes you could tell. You may have thought I cared mostly about the presents I received at Christmas. Maybe you thought I cared a lot about how clean the house was. Or how perfectly my room was decorated.
That stuff was really nice. But none of that mattered most to me, mom.
When I was a child, you might have thought I mostly cared about how many games you’d play in the pool or how fast you went down the waterslide. Maybe you thought I really cared if you were always home and were never distracted by work. You might have thought that I mostly cared if you were the “room mom” at school or if you attended every school function.
Those are important. But they never mattered most to me, mom.
When I was a pre-teen, did you ever wonder if I mostly cared about the clothes you bought for me or where we went on vacation? Maybe you thought I only cared about my friends or when you’d be able to drop me off at the mall.
Sometimes those things were important to me. But none of them ever mattered most to me, mom.
When I was a teenager, maybe you thought I mostly cared about my own life. Maybe it seemed that I only cared about my friends, my boyfriend, and my schedule.
Sure, I cared about those things. But they never mattered most to me, mom.
What mattered most to me?
Well, as a child, I mostly cared that you listened. You never hushed me or silenced me; rather, you opened your ears willingly, and you listened to my stories, my worries, my heart. Because of you, I know what it feels like to be fully known and deeply loved.
As a pre-teen, it mattered to me that you never doubted my potential. When I wasn’t there just yet, you were there to cheer me on. When I failed, you were there to hug me and remind me that I am enough. Because of you, I know these affirmations to be true in the depths of my soul.
As a teenager, it mattered most that you never once compared me to anyone else – there was never a time when you compared me to my siblings, friends, or yourself at my age. You treasured me as my own being. Every desire, fear, and feeling was taken seriously by you.
For that, I will never be able to thank you enough. In fact, it is perhaps the single most valuable trait you’ve ever expressed to me. Just…thank you.
Today, mom, I’m an adult. I have desires, fears, and feelings just like I’ve always had. You’re not there to hear every single one like you used to be.
But you know what matters most to me? That you’ve consistently stayed true to who you are no matter what. You’ve never let the pressure of other moms or the competitive vibe of parenting culture influence your own perspective.
You’ve always known what was important.
Maybe in the midst of raising me, you questioned if you were the right mom for the job. Maybe there was a moment when you doubted you were doing the right thing. So on Mother’s Day, I want to tell you something so important.
You were always the mom I needed.
I needed you to be you. Not someone else. I commend you for never giving into the pressure to be a different mom. And for never being enticed to compete with the mom brigade . . .
For this, you inspire me.
Thank you for being the mom I needed, and the mom I still need today. I love you!
Sincerely yours forever,
For a heartfelt letter to dad for father’s day, check out this letter.